PilgrimLifeSummedUp

The Pilgrim Life Summed Up: Godly Behavior in the Household of Faith

We've been walking through 1 Peter, learning what it means to live as sojourners and pilgrims headed to our heavenly home. Peter has given us detailed instructions: how to relate to civil authorities, employers (both kind and harsh), and to our spouses in marriage. Now in 1 Peter 3:8, we reach a summary passage—a word that adds up the totality of our Christian life together. "Finally," Peter says, "all of you be like-minded, sympathetic, brotherly, tender-hearted, and humble in spirit."

The Telos of Our Life Together

The Greek word behind "finally" or "to sum up" is telos—a word familiar in Reformed circles. Telos means both the end of a thing and its purpose. It's the summing up of all that something is.

The telos of our salvation is the worship of God. As the Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it, "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever." That's our aim. Peter has been building toward this point since chapter 2, verse 9, where he reminded us we are "a chosen family, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession." Brought out of darkness into His marvelous light, we now proclaim His excellencies. Everything Peter has said about authority, work, and marriage flows out of that identity—and now it gets summed up in five characteristics that should mark the household of God.

Five Household Characteristics

We are being shaped daily into the family of God—brothers and sisters in a vast household of faith, conformed more and more into the image of our older brother, Jesus Christ. Here's what that family looks like.

Like-minded. Our desire as God's children should be to align our thinking with His. As each of us labors in that direction, we begin to operate in harmony. Harmonious speech and concordant behavior should be the normal operation of believers. This isn't always easy, but it's the calling of the elect of God—and it's impossible without the humility that comes later in the list.

Sympathetic. To be sympathetic is to feel compassion or sorrow for someone else's misfortune. It's worth distinguishing this from what our culture calls empathy. Empathy is feeling with someone by sharing their emotional experience; sympathy comes alongside a fellow saint to help carry the burden. We're called to be sympathetic, not empathetic. The difference matters. Sympathy walks beside a brother through the valley of tears with a purpose—not to sit in the sorrow indefinitely, but to keep moving toward maturity and hope.

Christ Himself is our pattern. Hebrews 4 tells us we have a High Priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses, having been tempted in all things like we are, yet without sin. He knows the struggle and knows how to walk us through it. As He is sympathetic to us, so we are to be sympathetic to one another—in our prayers, our meals brought to the sick, our time given to those in hardship.

Brotherly. The Greek word here is philadelphus—the same root as the city that bears the name. It speaks to familial love, the love between brothers and sisters. We're no longer strangers but fellow heirs together in Christ, knit into His body. Siblings squabble, yes, but when the household is threatened, they unite. Brotherly love in the church leads to protection and the good of the whole household.

Tender-hearted. The word here speaks to having strength in the seat of your emotions—a kind of robust compassion. We need to be maturing as members of Christ, growing in strength as the Spirit conforms us to our Lord. Out of that strength, we can show real pity, real compassion, real help to others carrying heavy loads.

Humble in spirit. To be humble in spirit is to have a humble opinion of yourself—to be poor in spirit, as Jesus put it in the Beatitudes. As we walk humbly before God, we walk humbly with one another, not esteeming ourselves above our brothers and sisters. Paul echoes this in Philippians 2: "with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." Every apostle gives the same testimony. Walk in love within the household of God.

When Brothers Wound Each Other

Verse 8 gives us the weapons. Verse 9 hands us the field of battle: "Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but giving a blessing instead, for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing."

Each of us still carries the vestiges of our sinful nature into this church family. There will be moments of selfishness, anger, harsh words. Every offense gives the offended brother an opportunity to return a blessing instead of a curse.

Scripture tells us to love our enemies, and we usually think of that as those outside the church. But how do we live with one another inside the household? Certainly not as enemies, but as fellow heirs of life. So pursue good for one another. Christ is our pattern again. When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats but entrusted Himself to the Father who judges righteously. Entrust yourself to God, saints. Strive for unity in the body of Christ.

A Psalm for the Pilgrims

Peter quotes Psalm 34 to seal his point. David wrote that psalm after feigning madness before the king of Gath to preserve his life. It's an alphabetical psalm in Hebrew, each verse beginning with the next letter—and it gives us another telos for our life as believers.

"The one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

We are to seek life—not just life in this world, but the true life that comes from our good God, the life John tells us is in Christ Himself. We've tasted that goodness and pant after it like a deer pants for streams of water.

But how do we see good days? By keeping our tongues from evil. James reminded us that the same mouth cannot rightly bless God and curse people made in His image. The tongue must be bridled. Then comes repentance in operation: a turning from evil, and a turning toward peace. Peace is one of the most prized attributes in Scripture. We're told to seek the peace of our cities, to strive for the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, to sow in righteousness for a harvest of peace. As pilgrims, we chase after peace with everything we have.

The closing word is comfort and warning: God's eyes are on the righteous. He hears our prayers. He shows favor to His own children. But His face is set against those who do evil. God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble. That's the consistent testimony of all Scripture.

What to Carry With You

Three things to take from this passage.

First, see the telos of your life. You are a child of God, precious in His sight. Your nature has been changed—you're no longer a sinner lost to darkness, but chosen and elect by His mercy. Now you walk by faith, ordering every part of your life around your new Master. Your behavior at work should look different. Your marriage should look different. Wives, your respect and subjection to your husband should point to the church following Christ. Husbands, your understanding care for your wife should mirror Christ's sanctifying work for His people. Suffering will come, but the very suffering conforms you to Christ.

Second, let these five characteristics mark your life together as believers. Be like-minded, sympathetic, brotherly, tender-hearted, and humble. When you're wounded by a brother or sister, don't revile in return. Use every opportunity to respond in love and charity. Live peaceably—and when trials arise, respond with brotherly love and humility.

Third, memorize and live Psalm 34. It's a beautiful display of God's faithfulness and the proper response of His people. Let its words permeate your days. Let them shape your pattern of life:

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together."